Just now I'm sitting here thinking that Christmas is very close and I'm somewhat ready. The tree is up and decorated, the house is decorated. Some of the gifts are wrapped. I still have a few things to get...
The holidays are a happy time. I still have kids who believe in Santa and the year ended on a far better note than it started on. My husband lost his job of 20+ years last January and now, recently, he's got another -- better -- job even if the pay is a less. But it's been a challenging year. So there is much to be grateful for. Pluse I get time off. A gift because I pretty much work 7 days a week.
And there is much yet to do. Field trips, school plays, visits to folks you don't see for the rest of the year (isn't that terrible?), shopping, wrapping. Christmas costs you and the economy is making things hard on everyone...
You're happy. You get the blues.
Why is that?
How do you stay happy through the holidays? Do you shrug off the stress and pressure stuff? What shortcuts do you have? What works for you? Should I just forget all the unpleasant stuff and have some Godiva and a beer?
Share! Desperate minds want to know! LOL
Let me know what you think. Speaking of field trips, I'm on one today with both my kids so I'm not ignoring you. I'll be back in the early afternoon and promise to answer all your posts and give stuff away. I've got books. I've got stuff for authors too. =)
Thank you to the guys for giving us this spot on this fabulous blog. =)
Happy holidays all!
Tina Pavlik
The Romance Studio ~ the romance genre today
http://theromancestudio.com/
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
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35 comments:
Hey Tina,
I can certainly commiserate with on getting the blues. I think the happy expectations and hopes we have run with an edge of bittersweetness...leading to a case of the blues. I find that it helps if I acknowledge it and give in to it for a short time...it's important to indulge even the negative emotions for the balance. Then, you shrug it off with a comfort drink...whether it be a cuppa of hot chocolate or a couple of fingers of good brandy...don't forget a good book and some precious quiet time. Then just jump right back in to the middle of the chaos and be swept away until the crazy and hectic season is over.
I wish you a most wonderful holidays and I hope I was of some assistance to your quandary.
Happy Holidays
Anna Shah Hoque
s7anna@yahoo.ca
As we have no kids, we spent Christmas quietly so I am probably not much help to you to dispel your blues. Christmas should be a season for joy and love and I hope that you will have a wonderful Christmas.
Happy wishes your way,
Tamsyn
Hi Tina
I won't say how old I am LOL but as I have gotten older this time of year has always given me the blues. I think it's because I had so many wonderful Christmases as a child and a young adult and than as I have gotten older so many family and friends have passed on so there is definitely a lot of nostalgia for me. More so the day after Christmas. All that running around and preparation and then it seems to be over in blink of an eye. Thank goodness I have some close siblings and friends and of course a variety of dogs over the years that give a lot of love, support and good times. When I feel the blues, I let myself go with the sadness for a couple of days but then I remember those good times, thank God for the present and hope for a wonderful future. My mother passed away in 2008 so last Christmas was rough. I told myself that Christmas I was going to embrace 2009 and work on my goals. Writing being one of them. The writing is slow going but I did meet my other goal. I found my soul mate on line in March and without going into all the details he will be moving to be with me permanently by December 28 and yes wedding bells will follow before 2010 is through. I guess I'm trying to say that sometimes having the Christmas blues can help a person focus on what will make her happy and fulfilled if a person takes the time to think about it. Will I be blue this Christmas? A little because I'll still miss those who aren't here. But I'll also be thanking God they were in my life and I'll be laughing and enjoying this holiday with those who are still with me and with my soulmate. Sinatra sang it best "Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you" :-)
So girlfriend, if you're a little blue this holiday season, embrace it for a day or two then kick it to the curb and break out the champagne! That's literally what I did last year; then I set my goals. LOL Didn't mean to ramble. To all who read this have a RIP ROARING VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS and a DYNAMITE NEW YEAR!!!!
Vanessa
vbjf999@yahoo.com
I get SAD (seasonal affective disorder)right around the first of December. To get some help with it I use a SAD light every morning.
I think it is most important that you have your family around you during the holidays. I use to get down during the holidays, but during the hard times everyone is having with the ecomony I have learned to look at the brighter side of things. I have been learning to be happy with what I have and that thing I might want aren't as important as I once thought they were. Congrats on your husbands new job. I hope he likes it.
My family meets on Christmas Eve and when I leave lots of times I'm a little sad when I leave there I think it's because I worry myself to death with what to get everyone then when it's over I feel like that's it. Usually on Christmas Day I'm at home by myself sometimes I don't even answer my phone. I be on the computer playing games or reading a book.
sstrode@scrtc.com
I love the holidays. Watching Christmas movies and reading books helps me with the stress. There is a lot of good Christmas movies on right now. Some old favorites and some new ones too.
Currently, most of my family lives in my house, except oldest daughter who is visiting Norway for the next three months. So no travel for me. My biggest stress is getting the house ready to decorate. I'm a crafter and so is mom. As any series crafter knows, the house gets cluttered beyond control after a while. I don't have any school age children anymore so no field trips. No extra money so all gifts are either very inexpensive or handmade(makes them more personal). Although next year might be different. My early gift this year was to find out I'm going to be a grandma. 19 year old daughter is due in July.
If I evr do find myself super stressed or depressed, I just step back to get away from that moment and take a break to read a book. (Usually one or two with Christmas themed plots)
Sorry about your Christmas blues. Hugs to you!
My children are out of elementary school so it seems like I have less to do with them during the day. The school sysem has also cut back and they don't have too many field trips if any.
Out of necessity we've cut back on what we spend on gifts. That has helped tremendously with the stress. I think it's important to take time each morning and reflect on what you have to be thankful for and not focus on all the negatives. No matter how bad or sad we might be, there is always somebody else who has it worse than we do.
My kids have been old enough that Santa isn't important in the house but I have always loved Christmas up until last Christmas. Last Christmas dh was so ill he ended up in the local hospital 2 days after xmas. This year it looks like we will be spending Christmas just the two of us at a hospital 4 hours away from home. Our kids will be with the family so I know they will enjoy themselves. I just can't seem to get in the Christmas spirit of things even though the stores have had Christmas out since before Halloween.
Anna, you're right. I just always feel guilty when I wallow. LOL And I love the brandy idea. That or vodka and I'm there.
But seriously, you make a point I hadn't thought of. Why not embrace the negative emotions too for just a little while. Give ourselves permission to be blue, anxious, frustrated. That's super good advice. =)
Thank yoU!
Tina
Tamsyn,
Hey thanks. We have several friends who don't have kids either. Personally, while I love my kids, I can't see things being a lot less stressful for people who don't have them. We still have the same day to day pressures. Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful season too. It's always good to see you out here. =)
Thank you!
Tina
Vanessa,
Your post hit me hard -- in a good way. =) First, I'm sorry about the loss of your mother. My best friend lost her mother last year and it's been hard for her since so I have an idea of what that must be like. But how wonderful to have such a happy occasion coming up! You have so much to look forward to! HUGS That's wonderful and I wish you many wonderful wonderful years!
I think the age thing might have something to do with it. I hit 40 this year. LOL My older nephews are all early 20's and they treat me like their "elderly" aunt all of a sudden. I don't look my age (not complaining) so I blend with the other 20ish/early 30ish moms at the school but have little in common with them. I've been married to the love of my life for 15 years now and things are wonderful there but we don't do all thing fun things we used to -- tired, the kids, work.
You helped me nail what was wrong. LOL It's that too old to be young and too young to be old thing. LOL Yep, that brandy does sound good.
Thank yoU! HUGS
Tina
Snulfers,
Gosh I love these blogs. I learn SO much. So they make SAD lights. Where do you get those? What are they like?
Thanks!
Tina
Rebekah,
Amen! See I can live without the stuff. I didn't grow up with a lot and me and the husband, we do well enough but we'll never be "well off." That's okay. Stuff and money never makes us happy. But boy what a year until he got a new job. He did better than I would have. It's hard to start over in your mid 40's but somehow he pulled it off. I'm proud of him. He inspires me every day and we've been married 15 years. You're right. I need to focus more on the good things I've got going. Like the family. =)
Thank you!
Tina
Sherry,
Another gut punch of reality. You're right. There is SO much stress in not forgetting anyone and getting them the right thing. Then it's done and it's sort of anticlimactic. Good point. But you know something? Just maybe by putting a finger on what's wrong will help cope.
And I envy you on the video games. I used to be a real junkie. If I dared get back into it now, I'd lose my shirt. LOL
Thank you!
Tina
Beth,
Your world sounds lovely. =)
I've never been a serious crafter (I can knit and crochet) but some of the ceramics and other crafts I see, knock me out. I LOVE craft shows because the sheer talent of people just amazes me. I'll bet you're like that. I think the handmade gifts are the very best and the ones I always keep forever. I think if you can make great stuff (trouble is everyone in my family has a nordic sweater and an afghan now LOL) that's the way to go if you have money or not.
Congratulations on the new grandbaby next year. I'll bet your excited! I want to be a grandmother one day. But then my kids are 7 and 9 right now so I'll enjoy them for the moment. Still, how precious. =)
A good holiday read. Adding that to the list. I did buy myself a copy of The Christmas Clock by Kat Martin. It looks wondeful!
Thank you!
Tina
Lisa,
what would I do without you? HUGS You're right of course. I do keep that in mind or try to. And the cutting back has helped. Good point.
I've volunteered at our local women's shelter for almost 12 years now and my husband is convinced when I get down that is the reason. Sometimes it is and sometimes it's the way I hold off being blue. What you see does make you think society is going to hell in a handbasket sometimes. But in small ways you get to do something to help. In small ways...
The other inspiration I have is one of our fellow staff at TRS. She'll turn 30 in the next year and she's in a wheelchair. She's been my friend for many years now and she never complains or bemoans what happened. Whereas I'd be the whiniest, bad, intolerant patient you would ever see. I try to be more like her. I want to be more like her. She reminds me of all the possibilities I take for granted ever day...
HUGS
Tina
Chris,
I can definitely understand why you wouldn't be in the Christmas spirit this year. Whatever is going on, I hope it goes okay for you. What a time of the year to have deal with medical issues.
Anyway, that will give me inspiration right there to get my happy thoughts back. Then I'll send them to you. =)
HUGS
Tina
Amy,
MOVIES? Oh, I love movies! My favorite one this time of year -- don't laugh because it never gets old for me -- is A Christmas Story. LOL They run it for 24 hours each year during the holiday on TBS I think. I never miss it. Thank you! That is a good idea!
Tina
What a great post, and I loved reading everyone comments. It always hits home this time of year, just I lucky I am. Yes, we are cutting back a bit on presents, but we have some fabulous meals planned and will get a chance to visit with a lot of friends and family. My dh retired this year and is very content with his new routine, and I have both my son's living back at home for awhile, at the absolute best time of year.
I make the holidays a wee bit less stressful by shopping with gift cards, using gift bags instead of a lot of wrapping paper, and asking for help whenever I need it, instead of trying to do everything myself.
Plus a beer and some chocolate never hurts either, lol.
caity_mack(at)yahoo(dot)com
I do have kids and while that does add to the stress it also adds to the joy and escitement. My kids are 3 and 6 years old and their excitement is so contagious. They are so anxious to see what Santa gets them. The only time I feel down is when I let myself feel overwhelmed. That is when I find I have to take some time for myself. I usually will grab a Christmas book and sit in my recliner and take some time for myself. It reallly helps me maintain my sanity.
cherierj(at)yahoo(dot)com
Cathy,
Love the way you think. =) Gift cards, gift bags. Cool. I couldn't wrap a present (and not have it look like it went through a trash masher) to save my life. Think I'll do just that. Besides, who doesn't like them? I know I do.
Glad your dh is enjoying retirement and that you'll have your sons home. Sounds like you'll have a wonderful holiday season and I'm very glad. =)
Thank yoU!
Tina
I think for me its alittle of both the beauty of the season and the giving makes me happy yet seeing how fast time is flying by and how fast the kids grow up makes me a little blue remembering those we lost this tiem of year is always a mixed emotion but all and all i look for the best in it and the best is moving forward and enjoying family and the spirit ofthe holidays
as far as short cuts we do alot of sharing in our family our older ones gift their younger siblingstoystheyd ont play with that their siblings were eying we buy alot form the dollar stors liek everythings a dollar simply a dollar stuff like that to keep it in the spirit of givingnotbreaking the bank so they get something new and something used and we share books if ive read one i regiftto my mom or sister and so on durring the hollidays we sometimes buy some on sale that we give toeachother
Hi, Tina! The holidays are an emotionally intense time compounded by trying to buy the right gifts and cope with the extra expense. As you age, you lose loved ones, and each holiday you feel their loss more keenly. It's also the end of the year and a time when many things must be brought to conclusion before the new year starts things all over again. Try for some form of organization, make lists and plan ahead. Don't sweat the small stuff, and be happy with each little accomplishment instead of fretting over the major hurdles.
If all else fails, eat fruitcake and drink eggnog. I'm talking about brandy-soaked fruitcake and rum-spiked eggnog. Your mood will improve, your Christmas-carol singing voice will sound superb, and your decorating and gift-wrapping skills will put Martha Stewart to shame.
Happy Holidays : )
gcwhiskas at aol dot com
Hi Tina! With me sometimes I am happy and sometimes I have the blues. This year things are going ok so far. A few years back my husband and I both lost our jobs of 20 years. He has a better job now but I have not had much luck with the job thing. Nothing seems to last much more then a few months. But we are doing OK on his income. We may not have what we use to have but we do get by. I think this year has been happier times for us our one child is in college and things are looking up. I am just thankful for what we do have.
lead[at]hotsheet[dot]com
Cherie, I agree but how do you get that alone time? LOL I love my kids but they are usually wherever I am -- not complaining. I never get tired of them. Do miss the down time sometimes. My girls are 7 and 9. Good ages. I just wish I had their energy.
Thank you! Good advice!
Tina
SiNn, you sound like you have a wonderful family. =) Those sound like great ways to lessen the stress and stuff of the holidays. Sure have enjoyed talking with you the last couple of days. =)
Tina
Virginia C.
It would take a WHOLE LOT of alcohol before anyone could think I didn't sound like sick moose when I sang. Honestly. I've seen the dog cover his ears when I tried it. LOL
Lists I'm a maniac with. I think sometimes I keep too many.
But one thing you said really really stands out. Don't sweat the small stuff. I really struggle to remember that one.
Thank you!
Tina
Virginia,
You guys sound like us. Things maybe aren't as shiny as they have been in years past -- in some ways. But just as shiny, if not more so, in other ways.
If we just look, right?
HUGS
Tina
Guys thank you so much for coming out. I've had two mad blogging days and I LOVE this. Thank you!
Prizes? Okay I need SiNn, Chris R., Vanessa, Lisa, and just Virginia to email me at tina.pavlik@gmail.com. I'll answer in the morning.
And thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your holiday feelings and advice with me. I do feel a lot better tonight. Sleep well all.
HUGS all around,
Tina
I try to just live for this hoilday you know just one thing at a time.So Happy Holidays.
sasluvbooks@yahoo.com
Thank you for a great day, Tina and everyone who posted and participated. I loved reading everyone's comments.
Mine: I love Christmas! Someone mentioned the movies, I have my DVR set for every Christmas movie on Lifetime and Hallmark channels. The older members of my family, grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles are all gone, but I have such a wealth of so mamy Christmases spent with those very special and wonderful people, a big crowd and all of my cousins that just make the holidays that much richer. Memories are one of gifts that keep on giving. Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to all!
I try to be happy during the Holidays, for my son and his wife and for my grandson, but sometimes it is hard. My husband of thirty years died on Dec. 26th twelve years ago. There are times when that memory overshadows the million good memories.
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